fettuccine alfredo

A sad moment

2007-12-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

Today we've lost a courageous and charismatic lady, who's inner passion was to bring democracy, liberalism, and tolerance to Pakistan. May her soul rest in peace and condolences to her close family and friends.

the naked truth

2007-11-27T16:28:00.000+08:00

Last month, the ethnic Indians of Malaysia had done a great job to prove to the world that despite the so much hyped about "racial harmony" as the government says, the unity between this country's multi-racial people is gradually falling apart.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, as a Malaysian, I have witnessed and experienced many times, how the residents in this country are dissappointed with matters regarding to the race factor. If you ask randomly one question, "what is it that you are not happy with this country?", the famous answer would be the "education quota system".

It has been stated right under the country's constitution - the Bumiputera's (it means "prince of soil" which refers to the ethnic malay people) shall be granted many rewards and advantages apart from other races. One of the advantages will be placements in public / local universities. The most ironic part of this particular part of this constitution is that, many in this country are forgetting the most important factor in this country. People in this country are widely separated by the "Muslims" and the "Non-Muslims". Islam is indeed Malaysia's national religion, and everybody who is a citizen in Malaysia would by right admit the fact that this is an Islamic nation and should know their boundaries. Everybody has taken their oath on this, and if they can't accept this, then why be a Malaysian? Hence, most privileges will go to the Muslims. Favourism of the Malay race is backed by the reason of protecting the rights of the Muslims here. This country is ruled by the Muslims and our country has taken a lot of effort to ensure the Muslim residents deserve a decent, comfortable and peaceful life here.

If we compare Malaysia with other Islamic countries throughout the globe, we know that our country has been very lenient and practices religious tolerance. What i mean by this is that, people are allowed to have different faith and could have any ceremonies that are related to their respective religion as long as the people respect each others religion and live with harmony.

Other than that, this country is hugely affected with racial segregation, corruption, economic disparity... Each ethnic group in this country feels superior. Believe me or not, each one of Malaysian, would have condemned at least once about the other races or would have specific generalization of each one of the ethnic groups. Just enter any universities or schools in Malaysia, the most common thing that you could notice is that each race tends to stick to their ethnic group wherever they are - classroom, cafe, group discussions. This color factor has been the norm for a long time already.

Now coming back to the recent rally, i personally think that the Indians had done a big mistake in choosing the name of their group - "hindraf" . "hind" stands for hindu - and that's a religion - not a race. Anybody could be a hindu in this world, not specifically Indians. Instead of using "indraf", they have choosen "hindraf". I guess their leader needs to rethink of the impacts of using religion over matters of human rights. This is because in our country, the leading and national religion is of course Islam, and people are separated by Muslims and Non-Muslims. And, i guess the leader of the group would have obviously known that not all Indians in Malaysia are hindus, in fact a major percentage of them in this country are actually Muslims. So, this is like blatantly a not so smart start for the ethnic Indians to actually use the name of religion to fight for their rights. Race and religion is totally different and both are sensitive matters.

As i mentioned previously, this country has done a great help in ensuring peace among the multi-racial and multi-religious community in this country. Especially, to focus on hindus in this country - we have vernacular tamil schools, tamil based tv and radio programmes, tamil publications, indian stores, indian food restaurant, the freedom to celebrate religious celebration at home or in the public and they have temples too. What more could a person ask for in a Muslim country?

It's really a shame when people of my country still haven't captured the true essence of UNITY. Long gone were the times of racial segregation and double standards but why are we still living backwards?? We have made so much of contributions to "Malaysians for Peace" campaign, but we ourselves have yet to improve something that is tarnishing the identity of this country.

At the end of the day, we all Malaysians should never ever take for granted the peace that we have right now and be thankful to God Almighty.

Stand Up, Speak Up

2007-11-21T18:41:00.000+08:00

While at work today, i came across yet another sad story that defy's women's rights. What didn't surprise me was that the story came from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

A Saudi lady who was gang raped last year (14 times by a group of 7 men) would have gone through nightmares and psychological trauma caused by the gang rape itself and now the country's law is giving her an unfair, bias judgement towards the woman's cry for help in public. According to Al-jazeera news today the arabian lady was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment and additional 200 lashes because of the lady's "attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media". in 2006 she was sentenced to 90 lashes due to "illegal mingling" which had led to her being raped. Have the men in Saudi Arabia lost their sense of sympathy?

In an Islamic point of view, an unmarried woman involved in sexual behavior voluntarily would have been severely punished based on Islamic Religious Law (Syaria Law).
Involuntary sexual acts done by married women and in this case a "rape", the Islamic Law does not rule out that a victim should be punished too. Meeting a man in the car is not associated with sexual behavior from any point of view. I'm so curious, i wonder were there any eye-witness who saw the victim and the man that she had a "rendezvous" with in the car doing some lewd acts? It wasn't mentioned it the news.... how could just meeting a man be so "illegal" or a "crime"? I'm baffled ...would any sane arabian lady throw herself to a group of "hungry" men just so that they get satisfaction and she gets nothing at all?

Islamic rules & regulations has always been very protective of women in Islam. There are tremendous amount of rules and specifications on how an Islamic woman should appear and each of them are actually good if it is given deep thoughts to it. But when rules tends to be overprotective, Islamic women especially in middle east countries face horrible suppression by the law and this brings more harm than good. The truth is, in Saudi Arabia it's really not the Islamic rules that they follow, it's actually their tradition itself which is far too backwards from modern day civilization. I'm talking about giving the arabian ladies liberty to express themselves with acceptable restrictions.

Now just imagine what happens to the rape victim after this...

First of all, psychological pain and lost of privacy caused by the global mass media. (she has already attempted suicide)
Secondly, her family would either support her and condone her or maybe they would actually detest her for bringing shame.
Next, the big question of her virginity would prevail since it's a middle east country, what are the chances of her getting a decent proposal from an arabian man to get married? (in Saudi Arabia, men need their wifes chastity to remain intact before marriage)
Then she has to go through several medical examinations just to make sure she's not pregnant or having any sexually transmitted disease.
and last but not least, 6 months jail term and 200 lashes.

How much more could a rape victim handle??

Today, women in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the middle eastern region should really take note of this matter and start learning how to stand up and speak up of their rights. Isn't it such a shame to see foreign interruption appearing to defend the rights of women in the middle east but none from middle eastern countries itself. This kind of situation has actually allowed Women’s rights as a western foreign policy objective in the Middle East. I wonder will there ever be a revolutionary change for a better life for these arabic women or when will their plight be ever heard? Would a lady with authority give this kind of verdict to a rape victim? Take note, Saudi women are not allowed to be legislators too. I feel pity to these arabian women, day by day they are trapped by life's disappointing realities. Arabian women needs to find a solution on defending themselves, change the tradition and stop running away or ignoring what's happening to them.While i've heard many positive news such as the first Saudi woman who became a pilot or 60% of successful Saudi University graduates are women, lots of things Saudi women need to catch up. The most important thing is they need to be heard and treated equally with men. They need to unite to overcome the tight rules made by male chauvinists and sexist in their country.

It's time to wake up ladies, and show them that you are bravehearts and make history.

The Faking Business

2007-02-19T06:01:00.000+08:00

Monday, 7;30am

Women. There's a simple basic fact that would never change across time -- men can't live without sex and women can't live without makeup. While many women tend to be moderate in making beautifying themselves, there is a certain percentage of women who just loves exaggeration and here I have some thoughtful insights on what I actually mean.

There are two groups of women; the naturals & the fakers. The naturals are women who are not just naturally beautiful ( which is a gift of God ) they also posses a strong personality that men would define as, "women for keeps". A classic example would be Audrey Hepburn. Look closer to her facial characteristics and you can right away recognizer that smile on her face proves that her beauty and simplicity comes from within. On the other hand, the fakers are women who I would classify as not only fakes beauty (physical appearance) but also fakes their character and personality tremendously. Two words -- Pam Anderson.

All my life I've came across many types of women -- sexy, brilliant, vulnerable, headstrong, loud, quiet, funny, simple, soft-spoken, weird, emotional, vibrant, dull and the list goes on. Believe me or not, I've met more fake women that natural ones. Well, rare pearls are so precious, they are worth digging for right?. A real man would certainly know how to differentiate between the natural and the fake one. Usually most ordinary men are just suckers for the fake ones most probably the cause is sex, sex and just sex.

Here I would like to emphasize on my encounters of fake women during my times in the university. Basically the fakers would try their best to fake almost anything that comes to mind. First off, the make-over. If you want to indentify the faker, just take a good look at her face when she walks under the sunlight. The "glow" from the foundation that covers up her face including the thick layer of lipstick ( shocking red/pink shades )that makes her look as if she has just walked out of performing in a Chinese opera would scare you on the spot. I don't see no crime in putting soft lip-gloss on. But why in the world a woman puts on a solid red lipstick when she's aint going to a ball, or maybe some specific occasion that truly demands it. The fakers hide their real look beneath the heavy make up they have put on. Just imagine how does a cake really looks underneath thick glorious icing. If make up was mend for aesthetic values, it should be used moderately.

The skin. It's easy to distinguish women who wears a two-piece bikini at the beach (obviously for swimming purpose) and those who are daring to bare their skin unneccesarily at almost any occasions. The fake women are usually unsecured with how well their facial attributes could attract public attention especially men. So the easy solution would be to bare skin (plus the cleavage) as much as possible. I'm a woman so trust me, women always spend hours to dress up and make up all just for the sake of getting all eyes on them. Fact is, a women feels superior than those of the same gender when men sinfully admires each part of her body, it makes her feel like a queen. Perhaps its girl power. Once I asked a simple question to a woman who was sexually harassed by her guy buddy -- "why did you wear so sexy?" Check the answer -- "I don't know why all guys demands sex from me, I just love wearing sexy clothes, it's not that I wanna show off my body to men, I just feel good wearing em', it's my taste in fashion". At that instant I really felt she was thinking that I am a fool to believe in that ridiculous statement of hers. Women who are naturally beautiful could make men speechless and bedazzled with their radiance that comes from within. A true beauty does not need to cover her face with too much of make up, light make up would do or she doesn't need one anyway and her personality would be rich and powerful enough to make a man melt in her arms. She could be covered in loose fitting clothes, or wearing a full hijab (headscarf) with just exposing her face and hands but the impact she has on the way she talks using her brains and brings herself confidently will be a surefire a big turn on to men. The naked truth is that women who exposes too much of skin are just inconfident of their looks and personality. Skin is just an alternative of cheap publicity.

A fake women catches her prey (men of course) by pretending to act as if they have great friends, looking always happy and cheerful and on top of those gibberish sickening dramas they love to act as if they are naive inexperienced women. The fakers have set in their mind their long-term mission -- to get men and more men that she can keep in her pocket. They don't seem to comprehend the true meaning of love, what they actually know off is just lust. Lust seems to be love to them. A fake women could act as if no men has seen her naked before nor she has been touched by men. They date multiple men at once, go to bed with all the men and yet some could even confess that they have never seen how semen looks like.Does that mean they have been playing football or a game of hide and seek all night long? Nonsense. Their facial expressions could trick anyone as they are professionals in gaining trust of people around them. Faking an accent wouldn't be any problem too and not to forget wearing double padded bra for that glorious voluptuous full breast look.

Usually fake women would tell many blatant lies to their girlfriends, they always do. This is done purely to gain acceptance in a the cirle of friends and to make the girlfriends envy and feel jealous for their success in collecting men and luxury in their pathetic life. Fakers would make other believe they have it all-- love, money,great friends,great lifestyle. Sometimes they lie too much and when another person finds out the truth about the fakers activities, trusting them back would be just impossible. The question is what are the consequences of women that loves to fake it? Personally I guess in the long -run these fakers would loose their real identity, hell they would have forgotten who they really are. They keep lying to others and to themselves by creating many imaginary stories about themselves which in the end lead them to have a fake personality that is far from who they really are beneath the assumed identity they currently live with. They keep assuring to themselves that everything is fine when the fact is they runaway from the absolute truth about their true personality. This could lead to a bad psychological disorder that these fake women will never realize of having a disorder that could turn severe if left untreated. Inferiority complex and low self -esteem are one of the disorders. Fakers are so uncomfortable being themselves and assume someone will only like them if they are a mirror of the other person. Fakers are so insecure that they feel the overpowering need to feel accepted by everyone. This is a crisis because they'll never experience the satisfaction of just being "you' in any relationship that comes. The good part is most women would eventually grow out of it as they gain experiences which could boost their confidence in later years. On the other hand, sadly, some never do.

My advice to all the real women out there, be proud of who you really are and be yourself and to all those fake ones, you girls are just pathetic!

examinations vs experiences

2006-11-07T03:21:00.000+08:00

--Examination is a fundamental approach in knowing student’s level of understanding in their studies but it’s impossible to predict their career success by using their examination results. However, lifetime experiences determine a person’s career success.

Universities are normally accepted as a higher learning institute that will provide its students with a certificate that would create their path to a successful career in their future. Basically it is understood that examinations are done in order to evaluate a student’s level of knowledge for the subjects studied in the university. In reality, this belief is unfortunately wrong. To rephrase, examinations are only a temporary evaluation of a student’s brain capacity to memorize what they have studied from their textbooks.
First of all we look at the format of examination usually done in universities. The basic format would be to have multiple choice questions, true or false, short essays or structured questions and lastly long essays. The first two formats are indeed just exactly testing a student’s ability to memorize facts taught by their lecturers. The structured and long essays would, in a minor percentage, predict a student’s logical thinking ability or how creative their mind thinks. However the predictability level is limited. This is because the questions are mostly asking about the subjects being learned and not about career development. Most students forget what they have learned for their examinations even after the semester break itself. This is because most of them never grab the essence of what is learned, they merely just memorize and answer. It’s undeniable that these questions could foresee the level of understanding in a certain area of their subjects but to predict their success in career it is quite impossible. Fact is there is no any other possible way to predict a student’s success in their career.
Career happens to be a lifelong experience. When graduates starts their career life, they need in depth understanding of what the particular job demands from them, plus they need lots of experience in order to constantly improve the quality of job. Actually a person needs to constantly collect experiences from the period they begin studying and working. As we can see here the keyword seems to be experience.Some people say life is the best teacher and often it is true. Actually the more older a person gets, the more expected and unexpected things would happens throughout their life in order for them to reach that desired wisdom at a certain point of age. Likely there is a theory called empiricism that means the view that experience, especially of the senses, is the only source of knowledge. Now this is a theory to ponder in this argument. So if we think for a second we can analyze that when we work it is impossible that we apply 100% of what we have learned in school and universities. Most probably we would apply 50% or less of it. Going to school or university is all about learning and getting to know the basics and details of something while the amount of experiences gained throughout the period a person starts to build their path to a successful career is priceless. Many people learn from mistakes in life that makes them to strive to make a difference and improve their value of job they have in their hand.
A classic example would be Abraham Lincoln, the 16th American President of the United States of America. During his time, Lincoln knew how to read and write but he never pursued learning in a higher institution nor did he ever sit for an examination. The man was a self –educated person and was smart enough to use his ability and ambitious character to rise rapidly in his political career.
As we can see a person can get promoted way faster with that experience they hold rather than the first class certificate they have obtained. Anyone can make big money with experience that teaches them great techniques of money making, but with the same certificate, you just get to have a nice roof on top of your head. Many fresh first class graduates are most of the time jobless or unable to look for a job position that suits their previous field of studies. Funny, but it's true.
To conclude, we should understand that examination is fundamental but experiences brings out the better person in anybody, turns people to be mature in decision making, develops a person’s structure and leads to a promising future.However knowledge from lifetime experiences would be a good teacher to oneself most of the time and even if it is communicable to others, only those who has experienced something learns the most from their own experience. Experiences are not read, it is felt by all senses of the human body.

so now come to think of it, can we just go to learning institutes, attend lectures & tutorials, educate ourselves, get a degree but minus the exams? ;)

what can we learn from the infamous Zidane "headbutt"

2006-11-07T03:08:00.000+08:00

What happens when a sports superstar decides to make a bad move during a match? Most of the time, the outcome of a negative behavior would spark furious comments from thousands that have been watching from the stands and possibly millions more from home. Many incidents like this would normally be ended with public apology by the sullen athletes and most probably they would be punished by the games federation. Throughout the last century cases of professional athletes showing their rage during game has been increasing. For example footballer Francesco Totti has spat Christian Paulsen in the face, in America Tennessee Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth had stomped on another player's head, the famous Eric Cantona had ‘karate kicked’ his fan in 1995. Recently the world was shocked once again when star French Midfielder Zinedine Zidane was sent off for ‘headbutting’ Italian, Marco Materazzi in the chest in an off the ball incident during the 110th minute of the 2006 World Cup final match in Germany.
Zidane had announced before that he would retire from professional football after the 2006 World Cup and this event led him to receive the red card from the referee. It was an awful way to end his successful career. The chronology of the incident is believed to be when initially the two players exchanged words before Zidane began to walk away from him. Next Materazzi then said something to Zidane, who turned around, made a run-up and head-butted Materazzi in the chest, sending him to the ground. Later during the FIFA investigations, video footage suggested that Materazzi had provoked Zidane and newspapers had lip readers try to determine what Materazzi had said, coming up with a variety of insults. Zidane admitted to the press that Materazzi has repeatedly said harsh comments about his mother and sister. Materazzi admitted insulting Zidane, but said that Zidane's behavior had been very arrogant. He stressed that the insults had been trivial and denied that he insulted Zidane’s mother. Lip readers were hired to suggest what might have been said by both parties. Materazzi's alleged dialogue before the incident translated from the Italian language was most probably “hold on, wait, that one's not for a nigger like you. We all know you are the son of a terrorist whore. So just f*** off.” But at the end of the day no professional lip readers could prove the accuracy of what actually has been said by both parties. Both of them has been later fined and suspended by world governing body Fifa.
I believe that people deserve second chances, even these professional athletes too, but as we see, they are also human like us and they tend to make mistakes in live and learn by regretting their mistakes. A lot of other concerns would arise, primarily is the affect this type of behavior has on those impressionable young minds watching from the stands and at home as well. The negative impact would be a huge damage to kids around the world who has been a number one fan for that particular sports superstar.
Many different views arose since Zidane’s heatbutting incident happened. Many variety of reviews were made by people worldwide saying that his attitude was a shame and it has tarnished his awesome football career throughout his years. Oppositely some said that his behavior has been making him more as a real HERO. If someone insulted a person’s race or religion, he'd be as ready to attack that person, no matter what the circumstances. Zidane's action in a way has highlighted for the world the fact that the racial unity of France is more important than winning the World Cup title itself. Some suggested that rules should never be broken especially during a very important match like World Cup and that bad behavior in matches should mean stiffer penalties. It’s been clear that Zidane was provoked into behaving badly as any sane man would not have done something drastic as this during his last final match of his career. Despite the incident in the last ten minutes of the match, Zidane, a Muslim of Algerian parentage and proclaimed in France as an inspiration of multiculturalism, was voted the tournament's best player and received full support from the President of France, Jacques Chirac, Abdelaziz Boutelfika the President of Algeria and his ever loyal fans especially those of from France itself.

This incident has opened the eyes of people on the reality of what is happening in Europe itself nowadays. What we could observe between French and Italian team during the World Cup 2006 is that the French since World Cup 1998 had a line up of multi-cultural players and were even called the Black, Blanc, Beur which means black, white and Arab. However the Italian team line up comprised only pure Italians. Racial identity crisis is now becoming widespread in European countries such as France, Spain and Italy. Multiculturalism is not fully accepted by all citizens in these European countries. People still prefer on having their originals citizens to reside in these countries and don’t give a good treatment to some immigrants mainly from Africa and Arabic countries that live in their country. Terrorism that has tarnished the good name of the Arabic race has given some hard time to other innocent immigrants in European countries as condemnation to them slowly kills their self-esteem. The Europe’s identity crisis is something that should not be neglected, it should be inspected in 360 degrees and preventive and corrective measures are to be taken before this situation goes out of control. Conflict or the superiority of races should be abolished and Europeans and the societies in the world should look optimistically at the mass advantages of cross – cultural integration such as spoken language variability, improvement of economic conditions, increase in tourists, fusion of foods, better understanding of cultures and identities and transparency that breaks cultural barriers between different nations.

While the world is adapting and turning into globalization and cross-cultural integration, all the races should unite and try their best in understanding different cultures. Football on the other hand is a game played by humans and not robots, therefore, the game should be played professionally but like all other humans, footballer's makes mistakes too and they deserve to be forgiven when they do wrong.

2006-05-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

s t a r e

2006-03-31T19:16:00.000+08:00

~you are safe in my hands~

inspiring lyrics #1

2006-01-28T00:41:00.000+08:00

Drive
By Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes,
Yeah Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found.

Would you choose water over wine....hold the wheel and drive?

fantasy #1

2006-01-27T00:02:00.001+08:00

one of my wildest, impossible-to-come-true fantasies:

to have every living creature in the world except me and another choosen lucky one to self-freeze for a complete 3 days full and we both get to do anything we want anywhere, and i mean anything really. After day-3, everything comes back to normal mode and no traces of our evil-doings are visible. wow.

heaven

2006-01-25T21:10:00.001+08:00

i felt i had opened the wrong door to heaven,
the glitters has started to fade away,
butterflies lost their colorful wings,
holes appearing in my heart,
tears of blood,
nerves trembling,
head spinning,
music feels like noise,
everything is not pleasant anymore,
why?
all i just wanted is to taste a peek of heaven,
but it seems its so far away nowadays,
since i met you.

anti-nazi inspiring poster

2005-11-09T12:09:00.000+08:00

Leit-Kultur "leading culture" >>> Leid-Kultur "culture is suffering"

the good, the bad and the ugly.

2005-11-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

my very own version of " the good, the bad & the ugly" ;)

2005-11-07T23:12:00.001+08:00

malcom x - El-Hajj Malik El Shabazz - the good

2005-11-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

adolf hitler - the bad

2005-11-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

george w. bush - the ugly

what i despise and what i crave for

2005-10-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

well i've been away from blogging for quite some time now...so i have decided to post something about me...

-- my hate list

#1 sweet-talkers
#2 narcotics addicts
#3 body odour
#4 advice from hypocrites
#5 body piercing
#6 country music
#7 show -offs
#8 posers
#9 ungrateful people
#10 bossy people
#11 tensed up situations
#12 bush
#13 adolf hitler
#14 dirty toilets
#15 slow elevators
#16 branded people
#17 typical forwarded emails
#18 conservative minds
#19 caligula
#20 racial prejudism
#21 slow computers
#22 untidy house
#23 bad hair days
#24 selfish character
#25 busybody
#26 talking without knowledge
#27 cutting into conversations
#28 death penalty
#29 porn sites
#30 pop-ups
#31 profanity
# 32 child slavery
#33 wife-bashers
#34 rapists
#35 girls showing off too much of skin
#36 nose picking in public
#37 inadequacy of sleep
#38 nightmares
#39 no water supply
#40 snobs
#41 datelines
#42 suicidal attempts
#43 communication breakdown
#44 desperados
#45 waiting for procrastinators
#46 polytheistic
#47 paganism
#48 idolatry

-- my crave list

#1 my cousin imran
#2 children
#3 babies voice on the phone
#4 anything jazz
#5 cheese
#6 caramel
#7 spices
#8 any kind of vegetables
#9 movies with suprise endings
#10 surprises
#11 hugs and kisses
#12 laughter
#13 pranks
#14 eye liners
#15 lip gloss
#16 fragrances
#17 blue
#18 black
#19 purple
#20 black & white movies
#21 chivalry
#22 smart thinkers
#23 being in love
#24 missing someone
#25 ketchup
#26 driving
#27 rainy days
#28 lights
#29 streets filled with people
#30 window shopping
#31 motivated people
#32 confidence
#33 self-portraits
#34 sketching
#35 one love
#36 democracy
#37 live football matches
#38 being with my clique
#39 cooking
#40 my impulsive behavior
#41 sarcasm
#42 rhythm of flamenco
#43 nostalgic feeling
#44 home food
#45 ice -creams
#46 cool wind
#47 shisha
#48 fireworks
#49 chewing gum
#50 bling-blings
#51 young at heart
#52 genuine compliments
#53 honesty
#54 laid back character
#55 hot water shower
#56 ride on public transportations with friends
#57 eating out
#58 rainy days
#59 diego torres's voice
#60 alejandro sanz's voice
#61 aguilera's voice
#62 obie bermudez's voice
#63 julia stiles/ samantha brown character
#64 cinnamon
#65 sexy curls
#66 henna art

and there's more to come....

tackle her good will you

2005-06-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

this could be one of the world's most pathetic, lame-esttttttt pick up line you'll ever hear/read:

" hey girl you know sumthin'.. i love watchin' the sky at night...count the endless stars shining so brightly, lying on the grass and just feelin' the fresh mornin' breeze, watchin' the sunset from a hilltop, admirin' how cute small babies look when they cry or laugh, smellin' fresh flowers plucked from the garden..... well these are a few of my favourite things that i do...... most of my friends think that i'm just a faggot... but i kinda think it's just how i really am...i'm just so...so romantic...and i can't help just being myself."

girls, this is the ultimate line you could use to reply if this kinda situation happens:

" uhmm...you know what? i think u need to GET A LIFE !!! "

:)

closer

2005-05-28T20:23:00.000+08:00

this week i watched lotsa movies..i've turned into a couch potato...uh-oh....gained weight too... ( sad huh). those quite latest ones were closer and the interpreter. honestly i was truly expecting much more from a movie acted by two of my most fav actors - sean penn & nicole kidman, but.....i'm slightly disappointed with the movie as in it's NOT suspenseful, NOT thrilling enough. only the bus scene caught my attention. but nevertheless on screen chemistry between them was smooth... thumbs up.
now...the other one, closer... i'm totally impressed...low cost movie sometimes can always leave a lasting impression. this movie gotta be at least nominated for best picture, seriously. portman is the true star shining in this movie (minus her perversive performance of being a stripper, ok i admit she did it good...but that scene is kinda just boring too me nowadays). luv this movie... it's not just another twisted relationship flick. those who haven't go watch it!

wishlist

2005-05-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

i hope by end of next year i can finally graduate ( insyallah) and move on with my life from that dreadful land inhabited by prosaic humans...you can never imagine how i've survived in such a place, but yea as a matter-of-fact i did and i'm not so proud of doing it. so here's my future wishlist. this is what exactly what i wish to do or fullfill my so called desire to liberate all those passion i had locked up inside of me through pieces of my personal artforms.

desire 1: portraits
it's been 4 years or even longer than that since i really sat down and drew portraits of my fav people. just imagine how pencil and a piece of blank paper could create something so vivid. this is so not kewl. what have i been doing all these years.....

desire 2: paint, paint, paint
the last time i touched paint was during my alpha year and that wasn't a great experience trying to impress people who are not dear to me (the lecturers of course). so i'm gonna do something to impress just myself only. i need this contentment more than anybody else around me.

desire 3: write a book
since i love writing and for the fact that i love seeing people more than what they apppear on the surface, i would write something related to a theme connected to females. i'm a girl, so writing about another person of the same gender as mine would be preferable i guess. my story would be derived from a true incident, not 100% imaginary. it's gonna take lots of hard work, but i'm willing to explore.

i'll add more to the list when i have one.

and now, the FUN part ;)

2005-05-12T10:02:00.000+08:00

twist till you can't untwist it... hehe.

1. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

2. Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

3. Betty Botter had some butter,"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.If I bake this bitter butter,it would make my batter bitter.But a bit of better butter--that would make my batter better."So she bought a bit of butter,better than her bitter butter,and she baked it in her batter,and the batter was not bitter.So 'twas better Betty Botterbought a bit of better butter.

4. Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.

5. Which witch wished which wicked wish?

6. Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.

7. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesawBefore Soar saw See,Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's sawBefore See sawed Soar's seesaw,See's saw would not have sawedSoar's seesaw.So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so soreJust because See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw!

8. Crisp crusts crackle crunchily.

so, which one you loved ?

[courtesy of online tounge twisters database ]

i call them the ' irresistable ' ones

2005-05-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

my favourite so far ( in no particular order) ....

1. leo dicaprio in titanic, romeo & juliet and catch me if you can - oh that boyish charm with a sprinkle of some light humour, serious when needed. very laid-back too.

2. jim caviezel in count of monte cristo - mr edmond dantes role was acted so good throughout this film all so naturally, nobody else could have done that role better.

3. sean penn in dead man walking - acting as a convict on the death row aint an easy job, but penn did it so good, he made me cry just by giving that intense look seconds before his execution. ( haha, spoiler there for those who haven't watched it )

4. johnny depp in pirates of the caribbean, once upon a time in mexico, edward scissorshand and blow- mr depp apart from his dashing looks which i admire lots, got some real multifaceted acting talents.in short: gaya, mutu, keunggulan. ;) (caribbean part 2 & 3 in the making, can't wait to watch him!)

5. tom hanks in cast away and forrest gump - this guy bagged lots of awards didn't he. well he's just fantastic, another guy who is just so adaptable in any roles he does. got his own sophisticated humor too. thumbs up to him!

6. sean penn in i am sam - wow. talking about roles contrast, this one he was the mentally challenged single dad alongside fanning. perfect pair they made. made me cry in this one too.

7. kevin spacey in american beauty, usual suspects and se7en - he doesn't have too work to hard to impress anybody in movies, he just got to be himself, that's all. need i say more?

8. john travolta in swordfish and pulp fiction - ok this man , he's way too cool. he's the antagonist in both (not my fav movies but his performance was brilliant). thing is this guy can act any roles given to him. just versatile.

9. d. washington in training day and man on fire - one word. brilliant. this charismatic black actor portrays his character onscreen flawlessly. outstanding portrayal of an unconventional undercover veteran in training day and the revengeful man in man on fire. (still haven't watched glory though...)

10. will smith in fresh prince of bel air (ok, i know its a sitcom not a movie..so what? :p) - crazy, gorgeous, cool, extremely funny .... he does it his way.

11. chris tucker in 5th element - just too hilarious right, and that irritating voice.. hehe. ;)

my review on mr brown's best seller

2005-04-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

da vinci code - the book has eventually became a big time best seller. so what's up with that? majority of the people who have indulged in this novel did gave it some positive feedbacks. to be more precise, exaggerated feedbacks i shall say. alright, i admit it's quite a brainy thriller... gripping enough to make you enjoy it's page-turning suspense till it's climax ending. i've read the book and what i really could honestly conclude is... it is just plain crappy. maybe coz ive read too many smart thrillers before this ( hint: sheldon's novels can make me glued to the pages the whole day, oh not to forget r l stine made me skip my revision hours during my highschool time) or maybe mr brown is just trying too hard to impress.
fact is the essence of what he has written ...is a cunning masterpiece in disguise on a very amateurish attempt to brainwash the mind of his readers (especially to those outside his circle of faith) by merely mentioning 'this is just a fiction' on it's early pages when in truth mr brown wishes everybody to swallow the myths surrounding this story...mary magdalene.. holy grail...bla bla bla...and a few minor points carefully arranged making this novel be to be the best gift idea for last year's xmas celebration too. i see this story to be biased, well i need not mention why, it's so obvious. i can see mr brown doing his missionary fervor through his own ways.... no i ain't getting fooled, i wont get carried away and be intoxicated of this lame attempt. this novel would have been one of my fav if he hadn't written this propaganda into it. this book downright lacks realism.
the only good side of this novel is, how he potrayed the trust and love of a grandfather to his granddaughter that was just simply touching...it's worth it to read just this segment of the story... just absolutely beautiful.

well just coz everybody's loving it, i am not...and this is my reason.

p/s - i carefully pick my choices of words since i wish not to stir sensitive issues, but hey it's my liberty of thought and speech that matters.

tragic tale of the innocent kitten

2005-04-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

today while having my late lunch at the restaurant downstairs i witnessed something which i would never forget my entire life. a man went into his car, started its engine and sped off as how he would usually do. little did he knew that a cute innocent kitten was lying beside his car's wheel. while the car sped off, suddenly i just saw the kitten jumping in the air, but it's the kind of jumping as if how a goldfish would if it falls down on the floor when it's lack of water around it. it's mouth was bleeding, it couldn't control itself, the pain was too unbearable. it was undergoing tremendous horrifying pain and all we humans could do was only watch how helpless the kitten was on the road. my whole body starts trembling, trying to put myself in the kittens situation, it was totally an emotionally disturbing scene in front of us. it starts jumping up and down in a very awkward positions, the kind of move that shows a real real terrible pain. in a few moments it slowed down, it just fell on the road lying on its sides, jerking its feets once in a while. by that time i can feel my heart was so weak, me and my friend just went near the kitten to see how it is doing. one worker grabbed the kitten and took it at the back of the restaurant. by that time, she announced that the kitten has passed away. i couldn't believe what i was seeing, but that was the truth. a girl offered to burry the cat with her friends. me and my friend left the scene, but the moments where the kitten was about to die, will always remain in my memory always.... it has given me a painful impact to my emotions today.

2005-04-05T08:17:00.000+08:00

pappadom anyone?

it's pepper-dome time!

2005-04-05T07:40:00.000+08:00

advertorial flash:

"everybody, listen up! a brand new revolutionary product has been added up in the market,
crushing down sales of other all time favourite chips, everybody in town been talking 'bout it. yeah you've guessed it right, its ' pepper-dome! '.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
kid runs to the kitchen, grabs a can of pepper-dome , kisses his mom goodbye(lipstick mark on his cheeks), hides pepper-dome in his skool bag, rushes to the nearest cinema........he sits down, quietly taking out his pepper-dome, opens the seal, pickin' up his first piece of his tasty chip......

(kruck, krack, kruck, krack, *swallow*) : indulgence moment

he starts to doze off, dreamland stage...

~ in his dream mom comes and grabs his pepper-dome, coz' he's eating too much of it, he skipped meals....~

all of a sudden...he screams,

"mommmieeeeeeeeee!! noooooo!!! don' t take it away...i want summore pepper-dome!!! " :(

oppppss....

crowd in the cinema start turning their heads to look at him.

person A says "pepper-dome?"

boy says " uhmm... yeah", you wan't some? "

person A says " yea... why not." :D

boy passes pepper-dome to person A. after tasting.. person A passes the can around to everybody... soon the whole cinema enjoys the mouth watering pepper-dome, they forgot the movie's playin' .... ;)

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well, what are you waiting for? go grab yourself a can of pepper-dome, it's so crunchy, so tasty....you'll be cravinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' for more!!!

ingredients: crispy pappadom ( appaluppu, a crunchy lentil-flour wafer ), masala, preservatives.

a note to competitors - be very afraid, product causes serious addiction once consumed.

additional info for dummies:
pappadam = papad = poppadum = pappadom Pronunciation: PAH-pah-dum
Notes: These tortilla-shaped Indian crackers are made with chickpea or lentil flour. Before you serve them, you need to fry them in very hot oil or heat them in a microwave oven until they puff up and become crisp. You can then break them up and serve them with curried dishes, or use them like tortilla chips. They're sold in Indian markets.

info courtesy of http://www.foodsubs.com/Crackers.html

thank you

2005-03-31T06:13:00.000+08:00

i had this simple thought today while cracking my brains attempting to answer the finance case study which it's submission is due today evening.

person A: hello, how are you?
person B: hello. i'm fine. thank you.

so the question is, why do u say 'thank you' after you say that you are fine?

come to think of it, generally people say it is courtesy, or it's like you are used to or trained to say so. why must we say ' thank you' when a person asks us how are we doing? don't you think it's absurd? coz i think it is. thanking a person because they were nice enough to ask us how we are? oh come on, its ridicolous! it sounds like as if the person pity u so much, that he took all the hardest effort to just ask you a simple question regarding of our well being for that particular time, that you must say 'thank you' to show your gratitude.

since we are so used to saying it, it just spills out of our mouth after saying ' i'm fine'. i don't think we should thank a person for asking us about how we are doing. it's the sincerity of asking 'how are you' initially that counts. there's no need for thanks in this situation. people just try so hard being so nice to others in weird situations, when in fact the 'thank you' should be given to times when it's really needed. people actually forget to tell thanks when its really needed sometimes.

the everlasting love for Islam

2005-03-25T23:13:00.000+08:00

the truth shall prevail

One of Al-Salaf said:

"Stick firmly to the path of truth and do not feel lonely because of the few number of people who would join you, and be aware of the path of misguidance and do not be mislead with the large number of the destroyed"

Wa min Allah at Taufiq - and Allah knows best.

from Allah is all help sought...

"la ilaha illallah, wahdahu la sharika lah, lahul mulk wa lahul hamd, wa huwa 'ala kulli shay'in qadir "
- there is no God but Allah, the one & only, who has no partners; in His possession is all there is, and to Him is due all praise; and it is He who has power over all thing.

the irony of my cherished belongings

2005-03-12T20:02:00.001+08:00

now and then, unexpected things happens, and when it happens i feel like crying all my heart out, shouting till it echos to the swiss alps or smashing everything that meets my eyes to the wall but unfortunately i'm not capable of doing so and even if i did, it wont help anyways. when things happen, i'v gotta learn to live with it, accept it.

so here i'm sharing with my fellow bloggers "the-kinda-stuff-that-i-loved-so-much-where-buying-them-for-the-second-time-won't-give-me-the-excitement-i-had-when-i-bought-them-for-the-first-time" being taken away from my life in split seconds.

i shall call them my very own series of unfortunate events.....

case #1

the nike shoes

i had this one cute blue-grey-white nike shoes not so long time ago, loved it so much, coz its my very own first sports shoes...( i used to only have schools shoes, those extremely bright white ones) and like every average normal adolescent, i took care of it like as if it was some kinda 24 carat engagement diamond ring. i wore it for my classes, wore it during my chillout sessions. everytime i wore it i felt happy, 1st coz its so comfortable, 2nd coz its NIKE. well i'm not that so branded freak, but at times i am. honestly. that particular shoe has gone places ( oh how can i forget, i was wearing it while climbing on rocks white shooting pics of waterfall motions, tripped, fell hard where my chest just crashed to the rocks bumpy suface, my goodness i can still feel the pain reminiscing about it. hmmmm come to think of it , this shoe never gave me protection after all). what really bothers me is that, i used my eid angpow money to buy it. all of it. just imagine now... on a dreadful night just a few minutes more before my wonderful microeconomics paper was about to begin, i left my shoes outside the corridor of my house in a hurry to grab something ( i swear it was not more than 20 minutes) i suddenly felt my subconscious mind trying to tell me that the shoe is not safe to be kept there. i felt the urge to rush outside my house and when i opened the door, looked down....there was nothing. the floor was empty. i looked around. still nothing. my instincts were absolutely right. my heart started to beat so fast, my bloods began boiling inside. i couldn't stop cursing the thief. and the rest was history... reported but never managed to find it back. so there goes my favourite nike shoes. till now i havent replaced it yet.

case #2

the calvin klein: contradiction

this was my very first branded perfume. all these while i wasn't a perfume freak till i got this one. i was so in love with this particular perfume, it's the kinda perfume which was so sensual, so rich, so exotic and i wore it for only special occasions. and i really mean special occasions. you don't wear this kinda perfumes for lectures. i don't want to be labelled being exxagerator in any ways when i'm in campus. i bought this with my personal cash too. i seldom use it, still got lots more left in the sophisticated looking bottle, say three quarter waiting to be sprayed on me. this perfume reminds me of my past memories, so how can i not cherish this perfume. so happens one day while i was cleaning up, well actually packing up my belongings to move in a different apartment, i reached for my perfume and lifted the box container up ( i've always kept the bottle with the box too, this really shows how much i appreciate what i own) and to one of my greatest astonishment.....the box was so light... i knew something was wrong. i didn't have to wait to open the box to discover it was gone. i felt so sad, my heart crushing to pieces. i looked around again, negative results. asked my friends, still no news of the whereabouts of my perfume. so what does a normal girl like me would think? yes you are definitely right, a culprit in the house most probably have taken it. till now i couldn't relocate my contradiction, and to actually think of the stories that came up while investigation, oh man...it's sickening to even think of it. so i'll save you people from reading about the crap i've heard.

case #3

the silver ring

the thick silver plated rings with fake diamond studs on it. nothing so special about this one though, but it was given to me by my mummy, when she went to the holy land of Mecca to perform her Hajj. i loved this ring coz it was priceless, coz it was a gift from my mom. it came all the way from such a far country and it got lost. everytime i wore this ring, i will go to dreamland, i don't know why. coz it was a magnificient ring. the kinda design that gives the people wearing them feel they have a strong personality and confidence in themselves. i still can't recall when it got lost, how it got lost...but all that i knew, it was always there in that cute jewellery box i had on the dressing table..just suddenly like magic it went mising. the truth is not only that ring was missing, all of the rings too. the other rings along with the memories were gone.... amazing, just the rings are gone, bracelets and bangles still left for display. one of it was a pure thin gold ring. i feel so heartbroken, why oh why...my valuable things are missing again. and it ain't my fault.

case # 4

the ricky martin: sound loaded album

this was the kinda album to die for, well for me it was. back then even till now, martin' s a great latino phenomenon.. and i am still a big fan of his spanish beats. i had this album after graduating highschool if i'm not mistaken and i took care of this album with great care since it's one of my favorite. so happens one day, someone decided to borrow the album and of course i allowed to lend it. like usual, when a person borrow's something from you, they intuitively would give sweet promises of taking good care and promising to return it back to me as how it was originally. now you don't have to guess what happened... the simple fact is that the album's gone...it's whereabouts are undetected. that person had the nerve to even pretend to be cool about it, i mean...i can't be pestering somebody to return something which belongs to me...you gotta have a sense of responsiblity right? what the heck, it's lost and i have to intention of replacing it with a new one though. so nowadays, once in a while, i would take the album cover and flip through the pages of the cute little song booklet of the album and sit back and relax while reminiscing the good old days where i used to lay on my bed while listening to martin's sultry voice...... hmmm, wondering where is my album this very moment.

case # 5

the pashmina black hijab

the most recent case, and it was today. this scarf i used to adorn them for several occasions. why is it my favorite, coz it's black and i kinda feel i look elegant wearing it. i felt a sense of intense pleasure since the material was so fine and it's totally comfortable wearing it. i've even took many photos wearing it, so you know it's my favorite. so on a lazy, calm saturday as usual i did the laundry, i ignorantly dropped the scarf in the machine too. when the machine stopped, i took out the scarf...but it was stiff, the softness of it was gone. how silly of me, i rewashed the scarf but this time around, i poured the fabric softener into the softener dispenser and gave the scarf another good rinse. so guess what happened inside the machine. you've guessed right, it ruined my lovely scarf. tore the ends of it and even some part of its sides. but this time around, suprisingly i didn't panic, i didn't scream ( i was really screaming my hearts out inside my head actually) i just felt so useless and helpless. this has resulted trough of my own negligence. it was my own fault. i was lazy to handwash it, so serve me right. hmmm, there goes my black scarf but i still took the effort to dry it outside. i decided to keep it, at least i didnt lose it, it's still with me.

case #6

the man on fire vcd

alright, this movie, is one my best fav movie. the kinda movie that made me cry first time watching it, second time watching it still made me feel really touched with the storyline. well its after all another denzel's movies...when he acts, he really portrays his versatility, real top-notch performance i must say. by the way, there's ms dakota fanning too in this movie, oh how can i resist her! she's totally adorable and so talented for a young girl as she is. so what i'm trying to explain here is that this is one great movie i would always want to cherish and add it into my movie collections. and then again, the unwanted and unexpected thing happens again. sigh~ i would sometimes just sit and ask myself.. "why me?" i mean if anybody wants to borrow it, you can ASK me. actually i don't know if i had misplaced it or it's been stolen. point is it's just gone. undetectable. how sad can this be... the whole chronology of losing my beloved possessions is just getting really ridiculous and it breaks my heart simultaneously.

it kinda hit me in my brains now that you tend to lose the ones you love the most than the ones you care less about...and usually, sad but true, it even happens in human relationships too. i've learned to take things easy now,to just go with the flow.

prolonged dry spell in Malaysia

2005-03-01T08:55:00.000+08:00

early morning view from my apartment

I woke up this morning and the first thing that struck my mind was that, " what is this strong unpleasant burnt smell that's so stagnant in the whole house?"..... then i walked to the hall, holding my breath ( it was really smelly, gosh) and i gazed outside the apartment to see what's going on. apparently to my amazement, thick fog had enshrouded the remaining forest in cyberjaya. wow. i mean it was a pretty breathtaking view really, looked like as if i was in cameron highlands or genting early in the morning, but only this time around this fog is a result of numerous forest fire. hmmm.. heard through the news that Kuala Lumpur has been blanketed in almost impenetrable haze and the fact that the fire has actually occured from our country itself, to name a few states...Perak, Pahang and Johor. So this time the cause of it is not from our neighbouring country, say Indonesia, but it's our own. You know what's more sad....this dilemma is causing casualties among animals in the forest too. Those slow moving ones are really affected. So what can we do? Well...we have no power of controlling the weather...but yeah we could do something to halt the spreading fire perhaps. The government would come up with appropriate preventive measures i guess. So i just hope and pray that all of us Malaysians could breathe in fresh air again, soon.

to all my girls of bernadette's convent

2005-02-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

class of 2000, but i've no photo of the other angels that i really miss actually.

O my friend,where art thou?

I MISS my oldskool girls!!! today i had this strange but crazy feeling..that i wanna meet each one of you, especially those i was downright close with ( yeah rite, in my dreams). So pathetic....not every one of you girls are here, so many scattered all around the world... when are we to expect a real grand gathering? :( I've heard stories,chit- chat a little, saw pictures but what the heck, we've gotta meet soon, for real! i feel like kissing and hugging and.........( haha, ok ok i'm getting way deep here). Nah...if u girls happen to drop by my blog here and read this particular post, message me right away, or well whenever you girls are free. we've got lots to catch up ya. You girls are always in my heart...let the Convent pride keep on burning.... girls, you rock.

~ nadia~

rendezvous

2005-02-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

last two nites was wonderful...i actually was ecstatic when i received a call from a not so long lost friend... Shakila. It's been great to actually have spent some time with her, i guess i've missed her presence after all. A great pleasure it was to rekindle the damaged relationship ( caused by some culprit actually) that we had. to have actually unmasked the truth, i've clarified the disturbing doubt thats been playing in my mind. welcome back girl, we've yet to share lots more together. next week, we've got an exciting event not to be missed..let's just anticipate the night (hehe :P), it'll be all good.

obscure

2005-02-22T03:58:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, February 2005

"Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them" - anonymous quote.

It's 4: 03am in the morning and I'm writing this from a terrible inner feeling of rage and disappoinment. To actually listen to continuous lies, lies and more lies, i can't hardly fathom what is really in the mind of the egoistical drama person. I loathe it. I detest the betrayal you have put upon a valuable thing. I live with this principal in my life which will never ever change : honesty. Opposites should attract, coz if it doesn't then where's the beauty in that. I wonder why is it that the honest ones always gets screwed up, and the dishonest ones always wins. Its unfair really, when sometimes the loyal heart gets to be paired with the disloyal. So strange, really strange but its true. You claim that the gem is your 'significant other', yet the gem ain't being significant that much.
What ever happened to the classic Romeo & Juliet's kinda love and devotion? I truly believe that only one man enters into another women's heart, not multiple. If it's multipled, it turns poisonous. When you fall in love, you really fall in love, and when you love someone, u really love that someone endlessly. Playing in a web of deception only brings misery and it takes away the true beauty of a pure relationship. I feel that a romantic person can never understand the essence of being flirtatious and vice versa. To those who live with a romantic heart, kudos to you and if you don't then you are missing the most beautiful experience ever. Honesty is such a fine thing to be, but the risk could be so humiliating, so misapprehended. But i still stick to my opinion, coz my principal is mine, mine, mine. To love, and to be loved is all that's needed for a heart aching of loneliness.
Maybe some people never realize that all it takes is just to put aside that clutching egoism inside them, and feel sorry for something and seek forgiveness. To seek for forgiveness from the one who is truly deserving, it's really worth it, but if it's the opposite then you should just let go. Being forgiven is always something to be craved for, it leads to a more secured and healed emotional wellness to any human being. This is something the egoistical drama person might never learn. I've decided to defend neither. Your flaw is your immaturity to think and act wisely. A huge mistake i've done, and there's no turning back. Poignant anxiety has taken over me for the moment, i wonder when it will end.. but i know it's soon.

Today, well actually on several occasions, i've realized that ignorance is sometimes a bliss.

lonely night

2005-02-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

hola bloggers n blogreaders,

when the world rejoices and celebrates the most anticipated day of the year when two beating hearts, one female with a bouquet of red roses or perhaps daisies, another a male with lipstick mark on his cheeks, holding hands, patiently enjoying a sumptuous candlelight dinner, later exploring themselves like they've met each other for the first time...( i dont entertain such crap, everyday should be a day to celebrate love & affection, don't you think so? V- day? well Mr V did a good thing helping couples to tie the knot, but NO i wouldn't celebrate a lover's day on the day in history of he being executed ).
So....i would be sitting here at home, looking at the sky above, counting the stars, or probably surfing the net, replaying the song 'que sara sara' all night long in my mind....

(hahaha...so so so lame of me, trying to be melodramatic :P)

~nadia~

Parole in Malaysia: should the guilty go free?

2005-02-13T21:03:00.000+08:00

9:34pm, 13th February 2005.

this my very first original critique of an article (hate it when im limited in my writings, freespeech is my passion obviously, so if you are starting to sleep off reading this, haha dont blame me).
so this is the condensed version of it.
not to be enjoyed reading, but to be deeply thought of by anybody,especially fellow Malaysians.
Thanks for the time given to read this.

Much love, Nadia.

[an excerpt of the critique by me of 'accepting them back' written by Abdul Razak Ahmad of the New Straits Times]

Freedom. Control. Second chance. As Israeli soldier and statesman Moshe Dayan once said, “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul”, he is indeed right and when a human being is granted with liberty, to use it wisely is to have self responsibility and self control of oneself. When a person misuses the gift of freedom, only self destruction will follow. These are some of the reflective thoughts intensely connected with the parole system. According to a recent article written on 31st December 2004 entitled ‘Accepting them back’, written by Abdul Razak Ahmad which was published by the News Straits Times, the parole system, an early form of conditional release from imprisonment that entitles the person to serve the remainder of the sentence outside the prison as long as the terms of release are complied with is to be implemented here in Malaysia. Razak indicates it has become a controversial issue throughout the society where they are burdened with a new dilemma over the insecurity of having the ex-convicts and inmates to be set free in the public when the nation’s crime rate is raising high each day.
The major problem here is that the Malaysian society is deficient of motivation, verification and intense knowledge to overcome their negative thinking. What really lacks in this article is that the writer did not cite sufficient relevant facts or evidence such as statistics, ratios, surveys or research throughout history to support the parole idea which could balance the whole article. He wrote this article based solely on direct quotations attached with one study. Supposedly Razak should have researched and find answers to questions like, “how could other countries which have established the parole system for years could be satisfied and gain benefit with it so far and how do they implement it?”, “what is the actual ratio of people against the parole idea and those who agree with it in this country?”, “how severe and how many cases of threats to public safety, and particularly former victims are in record since the accomplishment of parole system in other countries?” and “what are the positive and negative impacts of parole system in other countries?”. The answers to these questions could be critically enlightening to the public and could even change the current perception they have regarding the parole system. Referring to United States parole history, parole was authorized since 1387 beginning in Massachusetts and by 1944 all 48 states had enacted parole legislation. Earlier, there was no trained parole officer and only employer or other sponsors were given the rights to supervise the parolees. Regardless of that, parole system did help ex-offenders have prolific and law-abiding living. Later in the 1970’s parole officers were trained under rigorous standards and it ensured officers did obtain the most advanced knowledge to safeguard America’s society. By this brief statement we can notice the country was able to make a sound parole judgment and have had effective community supervision of their offenders too. Parole increased, it wasn’t halted completely. By now we should be wondering why most of the states in the United States didn’t abolish the parole system during the early years itself. This shows that the states could really control their parole system and their success should be inspiring to us. Now this is what Razak had missed in backing up the parole proposal. Razak claims this article is to examine the proposal, but as a matter of fact he had only touched the surface of the problem without exploring deep into it but made a quick hanging conclusion.
In the first paragraph, Razak expresses his bewilderment towards the country’s decision to allow the parole sytem and in the conclusion of the article he mentions that parole would only be successful if the Malaysian society is absolutely willing to give the inmates the life outside the bars with the parole system. In short it means it depends solely on the society’s verdict. We know this is a democratic country but why didn’t Razak make a conclusion by encouraging the society to accept or reconsider the idea of parole instead of giving them the direct right to choose and make a simple wrapping up as this? Certainly the Malaysian society would only disagree since they have not been educated about this in a more optimistic approach. In a way his conclusion has turned out to be less motivational to the public. The article is not biased, but the conclusion should have had sentences which are strongly encouraging to boost society’s confidence. Alternatively, Razak could have added more proven statistics from different nations in this world which have effectively adapted the parole system for instance according to a recent survey in the United States 45% of parolees had successfully met the conditions of their supervision, while 41% returned to incarceration mainly because of a rule infringement or new felony, and 9% absconded. Obvious here is that success had overcome failure by 4% difference. Another point which could heighten the acceptance of parole is religion. Almost all the religion teaches a man to be good towards others. For example, a translated Quranic verse says, "And feed with food the needy wretch, the orphans and the prisoner, for love of Him" (Quran 76; 8). This particular verse has profound meaning which means a man who loves God, will love the humankind also and he should help those considered appropriate recipients of generosity which includes prisoners too. A righteous man will forgive a wrongdoer and give them that very much needed second chance. This could be added in the article to motivate society in a spiritual approach which could lead them to approve the parole system. In a different method, HBO has produced a documentary called ‘Judgment Day’ which explores the conflicting needs of the victim, criminal, and community while shows the complexity of the Prison Commission in selecting the right parolee. Razak could persuade the society by requesting them to watch this educational show which could influence their perception too.
In the article when Datuk Mustafa said that the main criteria for selection are behavior and character, Razak could have added other ideas to strengthen the already available rigorous rules of possible inmates to be released on parole such as to allow only first-time offenders and those with a completely clean reputation in the prison. Having an ultimate strict rule for parolee’s selection would actually lessen the percentage of selected parolees, thus having a more confident public too. Even though crime rates are increasing, the society should never be selfish or ignorant over deserving regretful and repentful prisoners who need a second chance to live a worthy life outside the bars.
But then,the writer did a fine job in interconnecting direct quotations and making them into a form of logical arguments that led to enlightening answers.
So on the whole, basically this article will grab public awareness since its line of reasoning is important for the public’s retrospection. However, additional essential information is lacking to make this article well balanced with verified information that could curb the society’s negative doubts. A good conclusion can never be made when the supporting statements are deficient. It’s good that the writer chose to publish this article, but the article needs greater facts and evidence to boost its credibility to motivate the reader’s liberal thinking and lead them to be better at decision making.

~ Nadia ~

hola!

2005-01-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

7:48am, saturday, january 2005.

Good day everybody.

i'm soooooooo excited! what else can be more satisfying than to create my very own personalized blog, wow coming to think of it this is the very beginning of the journey into the mystifying mind of miss Nadia.Come and enter my world, where life is all about learning to become me, yeah me!( haha, pathetic line!), just in time to join the loads of existing blogging enthusiasts globally. I woke up, after sleeping for about 2 hrs 20 min ( no, its not a sleeping disorder, its not insomnia, its those tiny distractions that's always preventing me from getting a good nite sleep, wondering where'd the art of disciplining myself went..)
Now i'm having my breakfast ( strawberry + apple flavored cereal with some low fat milk) yeah u guessed it rite. i'm sorta dieting now, not exactly craving for a more mouth-watering hot nasi lemak or mamak mee at the moment.(yeah rite, me dieting? never!) :P Having the newspaper on my lap, devouring my food, grasping all the news of the latest catastrophe which has caused incurable grief to the victims and fear and concern over the globe, i'm amazed at what people are doing in order to help humanity. I'm still grateful to God that i am still here having a pleasant life.
Well hey it's my first blog, so i'm tryin not to be to melodramatic or anythin,kay. I've been keep on thinking about this particular lecturer which i met yesterday, who is supposedly to educate me on business ethics, i have this instinct he is gonna be a great but irritating guy to chat up with, there's more to learn about him, sooo... i'm really eager to attend his classes, seriously. Oh, but my english lecturer is such a darling really ;) OK, i can see my 3 thick textbook lyin there on my desk, waiting to be flipped through one by one, but not rite away i've got sumthin else to do.....

it's a great saturday morning, i've done my laundry so i'm gon slip into my cozy bed and have a short nap......ZZZzzzzzZzzzz